Nothing to WINE about

At dismissal, breathing in the crisp, outside air:

Student: It smells like wine out here!
Me: How do you know what wine smells like?
Student: My mom drinks it ALL the time!
Me: Ah.
Student (reading the teacher's expression):
Well, not for BREAKFAST, but for lunch. And dinner. And after dinner. And sometimes in bed. And on the weekends.

Maybe she's a teacher?!

Heard from across the classroom:

Student: MRS. BUTLER! OH MY GOD!!
Me: (said nothing, maybe a quick pants check...)
Student: YERTLE AND BUDDY HAD A BABY, AND IT'S A FISH!!!

Which is funny because A) Buddy and Yertle are turtles, and B) because I forgot to tell the kids I'd added feeder fish to the tank over the holiday break. Oops. ;)

The universe has told me to write. So I'm listening.

Sometimes We Could All Use an Extra Hand

We are in countdown mode these days at school, and in a constant state of bitter-sweetness. We'll jump for joy that days of sleeping in and poolside fun are close enough to taste, and then sadly proclaim that "this is the last chapter book that we'll read together as a class". We'll get excited about an upcoming vacation, then experience apprehension at what next year will bring for all of us. Today was a landmark day for another reason, though. And it was all good!  It was our VERY LAST STANDARDIZED ASSESSMENT! And if you think that isn't reason to cheer loudly,  just ask any teacher, student, or administrator who's been involved in the testing process this year.  They. Are. Not. Fun. So today we celebrated,  even in the wake of the upcoming science benchmark. One of my students couldn't help voicing his concern, however.

Student (right before receiving his exam from me): "Mrs. Butler? I don't think I'm gonna do so well on this test."
Me: "Just take a deep breath, relax, and think about all the great stuff we learned this year. You'll do great!"
Student: "Well, I remember stuff about the body--like about the blood,  and PLATES, and PLAZA, but I don't remember anything about the LEGS and TENTACLES. (Yes, he really said tentacles)."

I will spend at least a week (poolside) this summer revamping my human body unit. I will of course pay very close attention to detail concerning the tentacles.

Devil in the Details!

Once in a while as a teacher or parent, you hear your well thought out, sage advice echoed back from a student or your own child. And it doesn't sound so well thought out.  Or sage. Today was yet another day in a string of testing days. One of my students in particular has the most uncanny reaction to any kind of testing situation...he gets attacked by a horrible bout of stomach sickness,  or as in today's case, a blinding headache. It's as if he's allergic.  Anyway, as I am getting the class settled in for the fun,  he approached,  as I knew he would.

Student: Mrs. Butler? My head is KILLING me! I can't even THINK!
Me: I know what you mean.  I have a headache today too! Remember what I always tell you I do when I have a headache?
Student (rolling eyes): Yes, you DRINK A LOT and put your head down on your desk.
Me: Ummm...yeah. Something like that.

H2O-boy. Stay hydrated,  friends! And if you are a teacher, may your students always THIRST for knowledge! Somebody stop me!

Happy Teacher Appreciation Day!

Play Ball!

After recess today, we had the usual debriefing conversations as the kids walked back into the classroom.  I'm pretty sure it was the sound of my last nerve twanging in my head while listening to a slew of tattles that caused me call them to gather together with me and have a real heart-to-heart about recess strife. I asked them if they thought it was good or bad to always get what you deserve. Lots of comments ensued,  among them, one from a little boy who said that sometimes you got lucky and DIDN'T get what you deserved. I then talked about turning that good fortune into mercy for another. I was really feeling the mojo--we were in sync! At least right up until another student replied, "Well I sure didn't get what I deserved at recess. I got kicked in the balls. And I totally didn't DESERVE that."

And the magic ended. Poof. Carriage back into a pumpkin.

Foreign Affairs on Friday--Now That's Alliteration

Happy Friday! I had a rather accomplished day,  if I do say so myself.  Before lunch at noon, I had answered approximately 500 questions,  dispelled the rumor that spiders lay eggs with their butts, read individually with 8 or 9 kids, taught two fighting friends what a myth was, heard about someone's throw-up experience,  sent 2 off to see the nurse, wrangled a water bottle into an ice pack, read 2 chapters out loud from a very cool book about a mouse named Fredle, solved an issue about which marker was a redder red, unjammed the stapler, reorganized someone's reading binder that had fallen apart, told my OPINION about mermaids being fantasy (back to the myth discussion), heard every possible detail about a little league baseball game in which someone's team lost 14 to 2, identified a hang nail AND a rash both as non life-threatening, put to rest the rumor that so-n-so was saving so-n-so a beanbag chair because they are dating, found a word definition on dictionary.com, collected reading and writing work for the week, guilted several friends for not having their reading and writing work for the week finished, explained what a charlie horse was, counted the remaining fish swimming in the turtle tank (it was a request, as she couldn't BELIEVE they were still alive), and taught a room full of third graders how to write in a foreign language. Or at least I guess I did. One of them quite loudly protested our cursive writing practice, insisting he'd rather write in English.

Enjoy the weekend, and revel in your accomplishments,  big and small!