In the Unlikely Event it Rains...

On a rainy Friday in the desert:

Me: Guys, PLEASE don't stomple in the puddles...I know it's very tempting!
Student, immediately after stompling in the puddles: Mrs. Butler? I made a bad choice. I stompled in the puddle.
Me: I see that.
Student: And now I'm  soaking wet. Just like you said.
Me: Indeed, you are.
Student: And now I'm stuck with wet shoes and socks for the rest of the day, because the nurse doesn't have extras, right?
Me: Yup.
Student: And you're probably going to tell me to suck it up if I complain, right?
Me: That sounds like something I might say.
Student: Okay, just making sure.
Me: You bet.

I love that we just GET each other.

Men can be Fashionable Too

Today while reading from a historical fiction book about the Titanic:

Me: The boys who were thieves stole the men's purses, and that's where their money was kept in those days (1912).
Male student: The men carried PURSES? (insert laughter here)
Female student: Men can carry purses! In fact, they still do today! Only now we call them Man Bags or Man Sacks. That's the only difference! Geez.
Male student, shrugging: Yeah, that's true. My uncle has a Man Bag, and he's pretty cool. He drives a lifted truck.

So all you men with your Man Bags and Man Sacks--hide no more! We salute you!!

High-Stakes Testing Day Three:

Student: Mrs. Butler?  Are you SURE this (test) doesn't go on our report card?
Me: No, it definitely does not.
Student: THANK YOU, SWEET BABY JESUS!!!

And that about sums up our week!

Day Two

High-Stakes Testing Day 2: 

They are now in the fetal position.  

There were tears, disbelief,  and anger. But enough about me. 

Wednesday,  I am afraid of you.

Testing...testing

Well there you have it, day one of high-stakes testing is in the bag. They asked me if they could nap when they were done...poor babies gave it all they had!

Sinners, All

Student #1: Do we have Friday off for Easter weekend?
Me: No, I'm sorry, it's a school day.
Student #2: Wait...Easter is on Friday?
Student #1: (Little bit of eye-rolling, here) No, Friday is GOOD FRIDAY. You know, because Jesus ROSE from the DEAD when he SAVED you from ALL YOUR SINS?!?
Student #2: MY SINS? What about YOUR SINS?!? Jesus was probably too busy rising from the dead for all YOUR SINS!!
Student #1: Jesus would probably have to rise from the dead a MILLION TIMES for all YOUR SINS!!

Did hyperbole and Jesus REALLY just replace "Your Mama" jokes?!

Piece, Peace Out

Me: (Writing on the board) What is the meaning of this word? P E A C E
Students: That means, like, world peace. Or like, no war.
Me: Absolutely!  Now, how about P I E C E?
Students: That one's like a piece of pie, or a piece of pizza.
Me: Yes!
Student: How do you spell it if your mom calls your dad a PIECE of work??!