It's Elementary!

Today during math, 2 students were looking at a small food scale:

1st student (with frustration, to another student ): It's  a SCALE. You put stuff on it to see how much it WEIGHS.
2nd student: But it's  so small, you can't  weigh anything with THIS!
1st student: Well, what do you think it's for, then?? It's  a scale, and you WEIGH STUFF ON IT! It's SCIENCE, have you HEARD OF IT??!?
2nd student: (eyerolls...)
1st student: Here! Let me spell it for you! Have you ever heard of it? (writing on board) IT'S PHYSICS!!!

Well, at least he's  passionate about something!?!

Try a Little Tenderness

We are always trying to learn new vocabulary words to jazz up our writing in 3rd grade. Today's word was gentleness.

Me: Gentleness is a noun. If you are practicing gentleness, you are being careful and calm with something that is fragile, or that can easily be damaged or broken. Who has a connection to this word?
Student: Oh! I do! My new baby sister is fragile, so we have to handle her with gentleness!
Me: That's a great connection!
Student: Yeah, her head's still soft and squishy on top, and you can't bang it on anything or else you'll dent her.
Me: That soft spot is called the fontanel, and it's a spot where the bones of the skull aren't fully fused together yet to allow for growth (feeling pretty smug about the way I just snuck in some additional information--Go Me!).
Student: Well, whatever. My mom just doesn't want her head all dinged up.

Sometimes the best explanation is the simplest explanation. Happy Monday!

Runnin', runnin', runnin'

This morning before school:

Student: Mrs. Butler? You remind me of something.
Me: SomeTHING? What thing might that be?
Student: You know when you get on a treadmill, and you push the buttons all the way up to 12? And it tries to fling you off? And you keep running and running?
Me: Umm. Yeah?
Student: That's what you remind me of.

Maybe I'm doing it wrong?
P.S. She saw me BEFORE coffee.

Happy Monday!

I am up and running on Teachers Pay Teachers!  Yay!  One resolution for the new year in the bag! I am having such fun being creative, and am loving the new materials in my classroom. I looked across the bed at my husband last weekend (nothing very interesting, just putting on the freshly laundered sheets) and told him that I just had a realization--I was doing the job I'd always wanted to do!  My dream has always been to write, and I would love to write curriculum. And now? I'm doing both! Of course, I'd love to make money doing these things, but it's almost enough just to have my "stuff" out there in the world! Kinda corny, maybe, but well? That's me!
If you have a minute, check out my TPT store. https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Store/Tales-From-The-Third-Degree

Nothing to WINE about

At dismissal, breathing in the crisp, outside air:

Student: It smells like wine out here!
Me: How do you know what wine smells like?
Student: My mom drinks it ALL the time!
Me: Ah.
Student (reading the teacher's expression):
Well, not for BREAKFAST, but for lunch. And dinner. And after dinner. And sometimes in bed. And on the weekends.

Maybe she's a teacher?!

Heard from across the classroom:

Student: MRS. BUTLER! OH MY GOD!!
Me: (said nothing, maybe a quick pants check...)
Student: YERTLE AND BUDDY HAD A BABY, AND IT'S A FISH!!!

Which is funny because A) Buddy and Yertle are turtles, and B) because I forgot to tell the kids I'd added feeder fish to the tank over the holiday break. Oops. ;)

The universe has told me to write. So I'm listening.